Have You Been Ghosted? Do You Love Someone Who’s Unable To Love You Back? Is Life Getting Between You? If You’re Feeling Hopeless, Keep Reading. There Are Solutions For You…
We live in a world where dating is becoming increasingly complicated. Every single week I hear from someone who’s been “ghosted”, and from people who love someone who’s suddenly out of reach…
In this world, we sometimes end up loving people who don’t love us back. Sometimes life seems to get in the way, and people we wanted to be with are out of reach…
And it sucks. I know. So today I wanted to reach out with solutions for this exact kind of situation.
When Challenges Create Growth And Deeper Love
There are a few different spiritual perspectives on these kinds of situations. I’m not a fan of the “If it’s meant to be, it will be” approach – where we think that what’s meant for us will always be easy, or that if things are hard it means it’s not meant to be…
Sometimes giving up on someone isn’t the right choice, even when it seems like it to everyone else. Some of the best relationships and friendships have rocky parts. Sometimes we’re best when we grow together, even through major challenges. Sometimes the “unlikely match” becomes the deepest love.
My soul mate and I met at 17 and we’ve had our fair share of conflict and drama over the years but he’s still my best friend and number one supporter… and I truly wouldn’t be where I am today if I’d given up on our connection. Even though other people told me it wouldn’t work out, it did.
I literally wouldn’t be here writing to you, or running this blog, authoring books or any of the other stuff I love doing now, if I’d given up on our connection.
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Inner Wounds That Block Things From Working Out With A Love Interest…
Unfortunately, we can’t deny the fact that our ENERGY is often the reason things don’t work out.Sometimes we’re ATTRACTING rejection because our unconscious system experienced it before and it’s become a pattern
One thing I’ve learned with my soul mate connection and with hundreds of clients is that our ENERGY plays such a HUGE part in our lives and what relationship dynamics attract and experience (everything is energy)…
Sometimes we’re ATTRACTING life problems because we patterned it from our family in childhood – where they always had that experience so we matched it as “reality”. Sometimes, our fear CAUSES an anti-reaction of the other person pulling away…
So to resolve those most difficult types of love situations… We have to look at our ENERGY. Put simply, our ENERGY VIBRATION is made up of our beliefs, our past experiences, our fears, our hopes, our familial habits and culture, our societal background and more.
Please don’t feel like because things aren’t working out it means the universe is blocking it from you. No, the unfortunate truth is much more likely to be that YOU are blocking it from yourself energetically, only you haven’t realized it.
So in this article I’ll take you through a simple yet deep transformation process to break through blocks, erase negativity, gain clarity on your situation and step into a higher state of light… I promise you’ll feel much better at the end of this.
Here are 7 Steps to Help You Resolve “Impossible” Love Situations:
1) LET IT ALL OUT!
When we’re experiencing hardship it’s incredibly helpful to “unload”, lighten our emotions and gain a different perspective by writing things out. Whether you use paper or the notes on your phone, write about what you’re experiencing.
How are you feeling? What’s going on? What’s the other person making you feel? What old wounds may have been triggered? What’s concerning you about the future?
Let out all the frustration, anger, sadness, write it, get it OUT of your system and onto paper.
First of all, you’ll feel a huge sense of relief. And as you go along, you’ll begin to see the underlying patterns and what’s “really” going on from a higher perspective. Potential solutions will begin to shine through. When we journal the amazing paradox is we get to both discover more about our deeper experiences but also detach from the clouded perspective of being IN the experience. We become more able to help ourselves and see the way to a better state.
2) ILLUMINATE THE ROOTS
As you’ve now written out your feelings, thoughts and facts around the experience..
Ask yourself this: Who was the first person you experienced this TYPE of a situation with? This dynamic? And when was it? (Hint: It’s highly likely a childhood dynamic).
Say you’ve been involved with an emotionally unavailable partner, someone who keeps making you feel rejected or pulls away… Who was the first person you experienced that with?
As adults we are nearly ALWAYS in an unconscious way replicating with partners the kind of dynamic we had with one of the key caretakers in our infancy.
This is a common human pattern of seeking out what we grew familiar with – our “hardwiring” for interpersonal connections. (Take the Love Blueprint Quiz Here to get an idea of where your set point is) It leads to pain for so many, but it’s also a good opportunity to understand the unhealed parts of us that are crying out for resolution “back in time”.
The amazing thing is, if you had an issue with a parental figure, you can begin to heal that core wound now and as a result you’ll begin to attract a more harmonious dynamic with romantic partners in the here and now…
3) CLEAR THE NEGATIVE PATTERN
Now you’re beginning to understand how the issue you’re having is likely rooted back in time, you can start to clear that core negative energy pattern. The deeper underlying “hardwiring” that’s unconsciously aligned you with this kind of unfulfilling or frustrating connection.
And if you choose to stay with the same partner you’re having issues with, clearing this deeper pattern will help that connection rise into a higher state. Because your system will be drawing out a different dynamic with them.
Remember “as within, so without” – “like attracts like”. Relationships are never just about “them”, we are always drawing out a particular dynamic with another person.
4) APPLY LOGIC, LOOK TO THE FUTURE
In the midst of problems this can be the furthest from our minds but it’s something I’ve found to be helpful with so many clients. Logic can be an incredibly powerful method when looking at long-term major decisions such as whether or not to stay in a relationship.
When you apply logic and write things down, you help yourself make the fullest, most complete and helpful decision for YOU.
And the amazing thing is you can check back later and the decision will still be valid. Emotions are always in flux so when we decide based in emotions, we’re more likely to have regrets later on.
So for step 4, be logical about the issue you’re having – write out the pros and cons of staying in the relationship/trying again with this person, and of leaving/not pursuing them.
Consider this: If you made X choice how would you likely feel in 1 year, 3 years, 5 years? Remember there’s a saying, “If you’re unlikely to be angry about something in 3 years, don’t spend your energy on it here and now”.
Applying logic can provide the major shift you’ve been wanting. Importantly it helps you make your OWN balanced decision and you’ll thank yourself for it later. (If you ask other people, you’ll risk making decisions you regret because it won’t fully be YOUR decision.) Make sure you’re thorough and consider all factors so doubt doesn’t creep back up.
You can also use this method for other choices in life. When you’ve looked at something logically and see the factors involved your choices will become MUCH clearer and easier to make.
5) INVITE IN LIGHT
Now you’ve expelled the heaviness, cleared your mind and got a nuanced picture of the situation – including for the future – it’s time to fuel up with light.
When you’re connected to your higher self, your spiritual presence of light, things flow much more easily… and you begin to feel like the universe is on your side more and more.
Life begins to feel guided and supported… Lighter, more effervescent. Like you’re in flow instead of struggling trying to swim upstream all the time.
6) APPLY INTUITION
Especially for the future path, this is a big help. When we set our strong intention, whether it’s to work on a challenged relationship or to leave and seek what serves us better, our intuition and the universe begins to show up support and answers to get us there.
So it’s important to begin to attune to receiving these answers and support.
So for this part of the process, which is ongoing… Connect to your intuition – write out an invitation for your higher self to show what serves you best, the highest light. Meditate daily to receive nudges, insights, support and guidance.
Pay attention to your dreams when you wake up in the morning. These are all working to bring you closer to your goals.
Feel into your feelings – does something feel heavy or “dark”? Or does it feel light and positive? This is your guidance working to signal to you. If you feel tempted to get back with an ex where there were challenges, feel with your intuition. You always have this “inner GPS” on your side – your intuition.
7) STAY ON TOP OF THE “MAGIC”
When you invite in intuitive guidance and set your intention, the answers and signposts begin to show up. Whether it’s articles, opportunities, number signs like 333 or 11:11 or dream symbols, hunches of “inner knowing”…
Begin to keep track of these for best results – to make sense of each step as it’s revealed. Write out the steps you’re guided to take, note the signs you receive.
You are always being guided to your ideal, somehow! So keep your eyes and “inner senses” open…
Are You Being Guided To Something Better? Checking In With The Universe
Whether you’re choosing to give your connection another try or to draw the line, with these steps you’ll stay in your light.
After this process you should have more clarity, more focus, you should be in a higher energy vibration and able to receive a more positive dynamic with the person in question.
AND, if it’s truly not “meant to be” (i.e. if there’s something much better out there for you and the universe is guiding you there) you will FEEL that and be more ready to let go, so you can receive it.
You are here to experience amazing things! Remember how worthy you are. I believe in you!
I really hope you found this article helpful – do let me know in the comments below if you have questions on how to apply the steps, or any other issues you need insights on.
As always, I’m sending you love and light for your journey!
Never thought that being logical would help with this but i feel better after writing out everything. I see things differently. Blessings to everyone