Relationship Goals: Self Love – The Secret Ingredient

Hey there!

I’m Cassady, Spiritual
intuitive, energy coach
and author. I’m here to
help you awaken your
soul’s highest potential
to live YOUR best
life YOUR way!

What If You Already Held The Key To Dream Love? Tune In To Discover Your Power To Heal A Broken Heart, Attract An Amazing Partner, Take Your Connection To The Next Level, and more…



What we all long for and thrive off, in some form, in some way. What we spend so much of our lives trying desperately to have and to hold until death do us part…

Or at least something like that. The truth is the meaning and perception of LOVE varies from person to person. The way we experience LOVE is as unique as the person we share it with.

But regardless of the form or the timing of its arrival, LOVE comes to us by way of one very important ingredient: SELF LOVE.

The one relationship you will always have in your life, is with yourself.

Your relationship with yourself, colors every other relationship you have in life!

That’s why we can never truly deal with relationships without talking about SELF LOVE…


#1) Like Attracts Like – Your Power To Magnetize Love…

SELF LOVE is a major power you possess when it comes to relationships. When you can give yourself love, to cherish and appreciate yourself, be kind to yourself in your inner voice… You begin to nourish love from the inside out.

You begin to create an inner environment that is attractive to satisfying outer love with another.

Remember that how you are toward yourself, is a key factor in how you invite and energetically attract others to treat you.

Someone who doesn’t love themselves tends to attract partners who reflect this back to them. Someone who doesn’t love themselves, tend to look for and draw out the drama with others, that they have going on inside themselves…

When we nourish love for ourselves, we begin to attract a more positive and fulfilling dynamic with others too.

Unleash Your Heart’s Highest Power

FREE- 10 Days To Unlock A Deeper State Of Love

Heart Activation - A Powerful Coaching Session With Energy Healing (FREE)

11 Keys To Attracting And Keeping True Love - eBook (FREE)

#2) In Many Ways You Could Say True Love Is Born Out Of SELF-LOVE…

In order to show anyone how to love you, or know whether you’re experiencing true love not just lust or infatuation… you first need to know what it looks like, what it feels like, and what it sounds like for yourself.

Often, we show up in our relationships requesting and expecting for other people to simply know how to love us even though we don’t know how to ourselves…

We find ourselves feeling irritated, frustrated and sometimes angry because our expectations of others were not met. In truth, it’s unfair to expect others to be mind-readers constantly guessing at what makes us happy, gives us pleasure or simply comforts us in times of distress.

If we don’t love ourselves, others won’t know how to. And if we don’t love ourselves, another person will never truly be able to fill that inner void. They can try, but it’s a lot like pouring water into a bottomless well. It will never fill up.

The great thing about self love, is it can be learned. And you’re not to blame if you don’t feel ecstatically loving or cosy within yourself. It’s because of your past. Somewhere, somehow, you picked up on messages that said you didn’t deserve love for exactly who you were no matter what.

It could have been from advertising, it could have been from magazines, or school peers, or relatives… But the basic truth is that if you don’t love and appreciate yourself, it always COMES FROM SOMEWHERE.

When you can begin to untangle those judgments that have held you out of inner wholeness and self love, you can begin to uplift, to harmonize, to alchemize into a more positive loving inner state.


#3) SELF LOVE To Create Amazing Connections With Others…

When we take the time to give ourselves some SELF LOVE we show up for ourselves with integrity. It looks slightly different for everyone, and it’s a little like a recipe you’ll develop and perfect along the way.

SELF LOVE might mean setting healthy boundaries, it might mean taking time for your passions, it might mean speaking your truth, to dedicate focus to your career or giving yourself some TLC…

It might mean saying “no” to someone or something that doesn’t serve you anymore, so that you open up to something higher and more aligned.

Ultimately, SELF LOVE is as unique as you are. But you’ll know it by how it feels. When you’re in a state of SELF LOVE you feel good inside.

When we have a deep foundation of SELF LOVE our capacity to given love is greater from all the love we’ve given ourselves over time.

When we’re giving from a cup that’s full we’re not easily tempted to seek it from others who may not always have our best interest at heart… and we’re also quicker to discern if what another is offering is love or codependency or some other imbalanced or toxic form of affection.

When we constantly seek love outside of ourselves, we often run into trouble with our own boundaries and it can become difficult to detangle the connection once it begins. A broken heart can be healed with SELF LOVE.


#4) SELF LOVE – A Lesson In SELF CARE For You And Others…

In essence, self-love is really about learning how to put yourself first and learning how to make yourself a priority. It’s not being selfish, it’s about making sure you are healthy, whole and harmonious within so that you can function well also with others.

(You’ll know the difference between self love and arrogance in that anyone stuck in arrogance or ego is still empty inside. You’ll sense the desperation behind the mask.)

In society today, many of us invest so much into others while neglecting ourselves and wondering why we feel drained, burnt out and angry – and why the relationship isn’t working.

SELF LOVE is a necessary ingredient to give love to others from a cup that is overflowing and not dry. We can’t pour from an empty cup! And if our capacity to give becomes compromised, our relationships can deteriorate or worse become unhealthy and toxic and eventually die from lack of care…


#5) SELF LOVE is Sexy!

When we’ve created a deep sense of SELF LOVE we move through the world and in our relationships with a greater sense of appreciation. Someone who’s in an inner state of lack, fear, stress, only seeing their own flaws and downsides…

They’re not fully present to love, they’re not grounded into the present moment – which is where love happens. Someone who’s preoccupied with negativity is “out of reach” to the palpable experience of love – especially sexually and romantically.

When we love ourselves we’re present in our bodies, grounded into our own unique sexiness. We’re open to love from others. We’re able to be present to experiencing the fullness of love with another. (Yes, SELF LOVE can rocket your sex life to new heights!)

We also have a stronger sense of our own boundaries, our likes and dislikes – which helps us find the best fit partner for us, and experience all that life has to offer!


#6) SELF LOVE Helps You Attract Love, Not Drama…

When we experience ourselves as whole, we’re not easily tempted to find someone to “complete” us but rather we begin to seek someone who “compliments” our lives adding more joy, happiness and adventure to what already exists.

Like attracts like. When we’re focused on loving ourselves, taking care of ourselves, showing up authentically, it’s like we’re putting out a “signal” to everyone around us sharing who we are …and not just what we do for a living or what our favorite pastime might be but instead we share and show our heart; the essence of who we are.

The more we learn SELF LOVE as the basis and foundation for all our relationships, the happier we tend to be, and the more aligned we get to a satisfying, natural flow of life. Less drama, more adventure. Less stress, more enjoyment.

In order to experience love in its most blissful fullness, we first have to cultivate it from within.

LOVE is an inside job first. When we master the state of SELF LOVE, we find that connections with others become harmonized, uplifted, strengthened… and when you’re in that golden state of inner wholeness, even life itself begins to flow more smoothly.


love#7) SELF LOVE – What’s YOUR Personal Recipe?

It might sound elusive and perhaps like a lot of work, but SELF LOVE can really be fun! It could be the best thing you ever did for yourself, your love life, your relationships…

So make a few notes – What can you do this next week to nurture SELF LOVE a little more?

Spend some time relaxing? Go on a roadtrip for fun with some friends to enjoy life? Take an hour to spend on your passions, whether it’s a creative pursuit or a business idea?

Could it be to say “no” to an invitation you feel deep down you won’t enjoy if you go?

Could it be to buy yourself a new outfit or invest in your future? To take my coaching program or download my Free Love Transformation Pack (go to to heal old hurts and activate your heart to call in your divine partner?

Your SELF LOVE is as unique as you are, but bit by bit you can get to that state where it feels like life flows with you and for you, where romance is bliss, not a source of frustration…

Do share below – what are your plans for bringing more self love into your life?


Unleash Your Hearts
Highest Power

Hey There

I'm Cassady! Intuitive coach, astrologer and bestselling spiritual author. I'm passionate about sharing the secrets of energy and the universe, to help awaken your highest potential and live YOUR best life YOUR way!

Read More

Top  Picks

Stay in Touch

Unleash Your Heart’s Highest Power

Infuse with light to attract love and harmony 

Heart Activation - A Powerful FREE Energy Healing Session

More From the Author


The Toxic Quiz

The Toxic Quiz

The Toxic Quiz 1 Minute Quiz Reveals if You're Attracting Toxic Partners, And How To Fix it.      

A Guide To Benefiting From Moon Cycles, Part 4 – Conjunctions

A Guide To Benefiting From Moon Cycles, Part 4 – Conjunctions

The Ancient Art Of Flowing With The Universal Energies. Being In A State Of Ease, Instead Of Swimming Against The Current… What If You Had A Secret Power In Life? – After the post on Manifesting With The Moon Cycles, and the Essential Info On Moon Placements and...