What Do You Do When Jealousy Shows Up In Your Love Life? Survival And The Deeper Roots Of Jealousy – How To Heal The Shadows To Open To Harmony…
I’m sure we’ve all been there – everything seems to be going great with a love partner, and then… Boom, something triggers that familiar lurching feeling.
The worry that something bad is happening, that someone is threatening your position, that the love you have will be lost…
Or maybe you’ve been with a partner who has struggled with jealousy, and it’s been tiring for YOU to deal with their fears.
Jealousy is a lot like a monster. The word itself sounds simple, small, like it’s not a big deal…
But to the one dealing with it, it’s all too real and enormously destructive to a healthy relationship.
Many of us walk around thinking it’s a lost cause, that it’s just something we have to deal with.
But today I’m happy to be sharing some very little known info on key jealousy facts to be aware of!
Because hardly any of us see it this way, but actually jealousy is about SURVIVAL…
Jealous? Don’t Be Ashamed
As a love and relationships coach and energy healer I’ve had the unique opportunity to learn about the deeper root factors that create a pattern like jealousy to begin with…
And how we can shift into a healthier mode of being!
Beecause the unfortunate thing is, jealousy tends to keep us attracting more problematic relationships. Healing the root issues, brings more harmony… Even within existing connections.
If you’re dealing with jealousy, please don’t feel ashamed about it – because it’s not a character flaw!
It’s actually a primal human programming, that is there as a mechanism to ensure survival!
Where Jealousy Comes From…
When a child is born, they’re dependent on adults for care and survival, so jealousy is rooted in that time when we’re literally defenseless.
When someone else usurping our position could literally be a matter of life and death to us.
Some children have a situation where this is triggered more strongly than others.
And the issue is that as we grow up, we take this pattern of jealousy into our romantic relationships…
(Get a clearer idea of what problematic childhood programming may be causing issues in your love life with this quiz)
Bypassing The Rational Mind – Survival
One of the biggest problems with jealousy is it’s so deeply rooted in us it tends to bypass our logical minds. It’s literally a pattern in the older part of the brain, before we developed logic.
So it makes us behave in erratic ways, our minds go haywire with fear scenarios…
It tends to cause disruption and distrust between partners and causes a lot of stress for the person who’s feeling it as well.
So jealousy can unfortunately break an otherwise healthy relationship.
What Are The Solutions?
To help someone free themselves from jealousy, I would always advise thinking back to your childhood.
When did you first notice this pattern?
What key relationships have you felt it in throughout life?
And who was the first person who triggered this in you?
(It’s usually a parent, and it deals with a fear of losing love.) Seeing the pattern in a bigger perspective can be transformative.
Being Honest With Your Partner…
Journalling around it and being honest with our partner about where it comes from, can be very healing.
When we do this we realize there’s nothing “wrong” with us for feeling jealous, and they understand that we’re not pushing against them… We actually value them so much we don’t want to lose them.
I would also strongly recommend energy healing work, to clear out the root programming that’s caused the underlying fear which LEADS to jealousy.
You can get started with that right now for free with my Free Heart Activation Coaching And Energy Healing Session here.
“How Can I Be Less Jealous?” Shifting Out Of Automatic Mode
After doing this work, it becomes much easier to pinpoint when we’re being distorted in our perspective, and to gain a handle on the “automatic” jealousy response.
It stops disrupting our relationships so much, and if it crops up we can recognize it for what it is.
An ancient human pattern. A childhood issue.
“What If Jealousy Is Healthy?”
Culturally, we sometimes encounter the idea that jealousy is a display of appreciation. That a “real man” gets jealous, or that if someone loves you, they’ll automatically be jealous.
I wouldn’t call jealousy healthy in any way, although it can be tempting to think so. We all love being shown that we’re appreciated…
Demonstrating to your partner that you value them and want to be the center of their attention can be done in many loving ways, but jealousy itself is destructive as it’s driven by fear, not love.
It’s above all about shifting out of the deeper underlying FEAR of LOSING LOVE, that will shift out of this jealousy pattern and its disruptive effects…
And when you clear fear, you’ll also notice attracting more positivity, love and wellbeing in your life. Especially with others. Your connections will tend to flow more smoothly.
I hope you found this article useful! Do let me know in the comments if you have questions!
As always, I’m sending you love and light for your journey <3
PS: Do you want to uplevel your love programming, heal old hurts and unleash a new and positive chapter? Have a look here for my full Love Blueprint program