Let Me Help You Love Again. I Know It May Not Feel Like It – But You’ve Got This! Discover My 5 Spiritually Sensitive, Balanced Steps Back To Love…
If you’ve been through pain, you may feel like giving up on love. I know you may feel like you’ll never be ready to love again.
The idea that you’ll ever be happy again can sound hollow. When people tell you you’ll love again it can sound like a lie, a fantasy… When your heart is crushed by a breakup, it can be all too easy to remember only the agony …
But from all my work with clients I want you to know it really is possible to go back to the innocence of first love – no matter how unlikely that sounds right now!
So how can you leave the heartbreak behind? Can you learn how to move on from a relationship? How do you know when it’s time to let go and open up your heart? That’s what today’s article is about.
Clearing and uplifting your energy is the one thing I always recommend to clients to heal and begin attracting in a new and harmonious relationship (including with yourself, if you want to stay single for a while!).
Here are five ways to help you heal and move on from your breakup:
When a relationship is over, taking time to tend your heart’s garden is an important part in your healing process. Don’t be afraid to take the time to really spend with yourself.
This can mean indulging in your favorite “guilty” pleasures. Don’t forget about the simple things like making yourself feel safe and comforted – watching funny sitcoms, eating wholesome food, sleeping until you feel rested, spending time “zoning out” and processing the experience are all healthy…
Psychology reminds us that processing our emotions is a healthy facet of life that modern life gives little time for. “Processing” is an important part of our deeper emotions and minds allowing us to move forward.
Processing can mean journalling about the pain and experience, or talking to someone about it, listening to music, expressing your emotions through creativity…
Try to be your own best friend right now – seeing yourself from the outside can be incredibly helpful. Treat yourself the way you would a child or someone who wasn’t well. And recognize when it’s time to move on. You’ll feel this instinctively.
A gentle way to return to a healthy state is to pick up hobbies and solo activities you might have given up during your relationship. Take some time to focus on who you are.
Above all, setting the intention that YOU will give yourself the love you feel you’re missing is incredibly powerful. It’s simpler than it sounds.
Hold your right hand on your heart right now and say “I love you”. Feel into that often. Repeat it every night, every morning. You will be OK.
#2) Learning to Love Again
Remember that although things may have seemed hopeless lately if you’ve been going through hurt, your situation can and will change.
Change is the only constant in life, as the saying goes. This is a good thing to remember right now. Things will get better. It’s inevitable.
Be patient with yourself but know that it’s a matter of time before you feel better – no matter how low you feel right now.
Listen to your system about when you’re ready for a relationship or dating again. Your intuition and your heart will ALWAYS signal to you. Do you feel your heart lurching at the idea of dating? You may not be ready yet. You may need more time to heal and focus on yourself.
Spoil yourself, boost your own confidence, be a bit choosy – you ARE special so you deserve a special love. Don’t let anyone push you into dating with the fear scenarios of age or “missing out”. There’s no time limit on love. Your heart is wiser than you may have realized. It knows when and who is a good fit. It’s always trying to “talk” to you.
And when you’re ready to date again, I have a two step process I’ve seen work for so many:
First, get clear on what you’re after. Map out what qualities and dynamics you desire from a relationship and a new partner. How do you want to feel in the relationship? What kinds of things do you want to do together? How do you want them to be? Second, invite it in with your intentions (simply feeling into “this is what I want” is powerful) and allow things to begin to show up…
It’s also helpful to do an “evaluation” of your last relationship when you’re ready – try to be as neutral as possible. What was good, what wasn’t? What do you want more of, what would you like to avoid in future? And importantly, what did you learn from the experience?
Know it really is possible for you to find a happy relationship again, no matter how hurt you’ve felt. Don’t give up. There are 7.5 billion people on the planet right now – there are more amazing partners out there, than ever before. You have more than one soul mate (I’ve worked a lot with spiritual soul mate relationships and have researched this extensively).
When you’re ready for some safe distance yet exciting love exploration, come take my free coaching session here – I take you through activating your energy to connect with and draw in your ideal lover in the session.
#3) Understand Your Value
Even when we love ourselves, we can find it difficult to believe others feel the same way, especially when we’ve just had a relationship end…
Understanding your value is a key component of getting past a breakup. It can be helpful to make a list of all the wonderful and joyous parts of you that you bring to a relationship.
An amazing way to tap into this is to make your own “self love treasure chest” – get a notebook or a folder on your phone or computer.
Write out all your best traits, your accomplishments, your talents, your good qualities. Are you kind? Are you highly educated or gentle with others? Are you well-traveled, good with animals? Are you pretty, cute, handsome, loyal, funny?
Write out all the good things even if you feel silly doing it. A tip is, what do family and friends and colleagues say they like about you? What hobbies have you been good at and enjoyed in life?
Then, include the nicest photos you have of yourself. This will be your self love treasure chest. It’s important to build your own positive self perception again after heartbreak – it will lift you up in ways you may have thought impossible.
Look at this treasure chest whenever you feel doubtful or low! Realize that you really are amazing, it’s not just something you’re telling yourself!
#4) Opening Up Your Heart
Our mind blocks us from the idea that the love we deserve is out there, waiting for us, and that it is worth the risk of the pain.
Think of it like this: How many people out there have had their heart broken, and are now happily in love again?
You’re not alone. How many people all over the world right now are hurting? And how many are finding love again? In this whole big world there are millions of people going through a similar experience as you, and there are millions who have overcome breakups – think about that and know that the path exists.
It may FEEL like you’ll never be happy again right now but that’s your hurt talking. There is something better coming. I promise you! (When you clear and uplift your energy you open to this happening faster and with more ease. I take you through it for free here)
When you open up your heart, you give the universe permission to send opportunities your way. This doesn’t mean you have to set aside common sense and self-protection, of course.
Listen to your intuition – I always describe it like this to clients: You have an internal compass that is always telling you what you’re coming into contact with.
If something feels light and good and sparkly, it’s to your highest good. If something feels heavy, edgy, off-putting, there’s something negative involved. If you don’t feel light or good about someone or something listen to those hunches. Your intuition is always signalling to you.
When it comes to inviting in a new love, and even FEELING READY to open up again, it can be incredibly powerful to dip your toe in by exploring it in your mind and emotions before physically interacting with someone.
Explore romantic movies, books, images that evoke a good feeling in you. Look for guys or girls you find attractive – collect images. Note which scents, fabrics, places, surroundings make you feel the closest to romantic bliss.
Immerse yourself in this. Begin to visualize yourself in a happy relationship again. You don’t have to see a particular person to start with… Begin with a wonderful place where you feel safe and blissfully happy.
A Hawaii resort with the warm tropical breeze moving through the sheer white cotton blinds where the Balinese wood terrace doors are open… The room smells of sandalwood… You’ve just put on tropical body lotion after showering… You’re still in your crisp white hotel towel…
Looking out through the open doors, you see the sun is about to go down over the ocean outside… You hear the clattering of cutlery and soft voices in the distance from staff setting out dinner down on the beach… Everything in the room is crisp, clean, fresh. Feel yourself there.
Now, feel loving arms around you. A warm hug. Trust. Feel your body relaxing against theirs. Feel how warm and loving and caring their energy is. Feel the lips of a tender kiss against your neck.
Hear the whisper of “I’ve got you. You’re safe. I promise.”
You don’t have to see them… You don’t have to know their name… Just know that this person, this situation exists for you. First inside you, like this. Like you’re experiencing it right now.
And when you immerse yourself in it like this, you align with it, your energy and emotions draw it in. Just like this. (I’ve created a Creative Visualization Guided Meditation in my Love Blueprint program, where I take you through this kind of scenario with beautiful relaxing sound effects – so all you have to do is listen along…)
It may seem a bit silly to start with. Like a fantasy. But in spiritual truth, when you visualize something you are aligning your energy with it and your system begins to attract it in on “automatic”. Even when you’re sleeping. When you’re paying attention to something else.
Do try to spend time on this because it helps cancel out the fear that’s understandably been stirred up in you after the hurt you experienced. When you can take yourself through the INNER experience of ideal love, you not only begin to feel more ready but you help attract that kind of blissful happy relationship into your reality.
Your Future Self Is Thinking About You
I really hope you found this article insightful, helpful, healing. Above all, know that I understand how you feel. I’ve seen so many clients go through this and get out on the “other side” of heartbreak… Wiser, happier and more whole than before.
One thing I know for SURE is, there really are positive things in store for you. Look back on your life, when you felt the lowest, can you see positive things that were right around the corner?
Right now, your Future Self is thinking back at your Now Self, thinking about all the amazing things you have no idea are coming…!
I know it may not feel like it – but you’ve got this! Throughout human history billions of hearts have been broken, and billions have healed. It’s in our bones, our DNA, to heal and to love again.
Be gentle on yourself while it lasts, and know you’re more powerful than you ever knew.
If you have thoughts on this blog post, please do share them below! And, have you ever wondered WHY things have been the way they have for you in love? Have a look at this video where I explain the secret factors involved…
As always, I’m sending you love and light for your continued journey <3 x
PS: If you’d like to enlist me as a personal guide on your journey to bring more love, sparkle and fulfillment to your path – click here for my flagship program The Love Blueprint!